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Church Health – an Oxymoron?

More than 2000 pastors are leaving the ministry each month (Marble Retreat Center 2001)

80% of pastors believe the pastoral ministry has negatively affected their families (Life Enrichment Ministries - 1998)

40% reported serious conflict with a parishioner at least once a month (Fuller Institute of Church Growth – 1991)

Shocking! And even more shocking that the above statistics are 10-13 years old. The situation is worse to day. I recall a seminary professor recently claiming that for every new minister beginning ministry, five step out of ministry permanently every year! Are you kidding me? This is absurd. Something has to change….and soon!

I have been in vocational ministry for almost 20 years. And I am saddened to say that I have witnessed dysfunction in every church I’ve served in. Now, we’ve all experienced hurts in the church at one time or another. There is a huge difference, however, between a church member leaving and a pastor leaving. The difference is this: partnering with and supporting the church one attends vs. having a God-ordained call to grow and lead a particular church body. Below are what I believe to be some of the leading reasons pastors leave churches…and eventually the ministry altogether.

1. The church (unintentionally) places its pastors on pedestals. Now, I’m not saying that we should not express gratitude and appreciation. Our ministers absolutely need the hugs, thank you cards, occasional gifts, and praises. They also need Godly accountability, correction, and guidance from individuals who truly love them. Thinking that your pastor can do no wrong is the catalyst toward the death of a church!

2. Conflict is either never dealt with, or it is not handled biblically. My wife and I once made and appointment with our Pastor to discuss some concerns we had with gossip growing in many of the church’s small groups. After we had talked, he leaned across his desk and whispered, “If I don’t know about these things going on, I don’t have to deal with it. This meeting is over.” Let me say something very bold and clear. If Jesus had avoided every ounce of conflict that came his way, you and I wouldn’t have a Savior!

3. The pastor is expected (this is non-verbal) to attend every wedding, birthday, memorial, church potluck, graduation, etc. at the expense of his marriage and time with kids. I’m speaking to the pastors on this one. The single loudest ‘sermon’ you can communicate to your church body will not occur on Sunday morning within 30 minutes. It is embedded in how you set your priorities regarding your wife and kids. Think about it. In which environments to church members see you the most? Do they physically see you hug and kiss your spouse on Sundays, or Facebook about doing something fun with your kids? And let me make another clarification here. Attending a worship service with your family is NOT family-time if you (or they) have anything to do with the leadership of that service.

The Conclusion

The church (lower-case ‘c’) is made up of brick, steel, paint, broken and hurting people, and a million opinions of what worship style is ‘godly’ and what the pastor should preach on next week. Imperfection shouldn't be a surprise.

The Church (upper-case ‘C’) is the bride of Christ. It is the spiritual, Holy, and blessed life partner of Jesus. You and I………we’re a part of it!

So pray for the church leadership. Pray for your ministry calling. Most of all, do what is right above what is popular or non-abrasive.

Daily Maintenance

“Anyone who listens to my teaching and follows it is wise, like a person who builds a house on solid rock. Though the rain comes in torrents and the floodwaters rise and the winds beat against that house, it won’t collapse because it is built on bedrock. But anyone who hears my teaching and doesn’t obey it is foolish, like a person who builds a house on sand. When the rains and floods come and the winds beat against that house, it will collapse with a mighty crash.”
Matthew 7:24-27 (NLT)

The obvious lesson in this famous teaching of Jesus is obedience. Hearing and doing enjoy a sturdy foundation. And the converse is just as true…hearing alone without action leads to a foundation that changes with the ocean tide. But I want to look at this passage from another angle. What if there isn’t even a house in the picture? Without a structure there is no use for any kind of foundation! You see, the ‘building’ portion of this passage is a verb. It requires action. And that action is being in God’s Word. Without daily devotions, we are not listening to Jesus’ teaching. Sunday mornings are not enough. You can’t build a house working only two hours a week! A builder cannot poor concrete into holes for the foundation, and come back a week later to insert mounting brackets. The concrete will be completely solid. For the same reason, we cannot listen to God’s Word for two hours a week, do nothing else, and then expect our lives to continue build stronger with Jesus. It just doesn’t work.
His Word (teaching) is the solid foundation…it NEVER changes! But the structure we place on it….well…..that requires daily work & daily maintenance.

Leave your soulprint in the soil of humanity

What does it look like to be ‘approved’ by God (2 Timothy 2:15) …or being really prepared (1 Peter 3:15)…and what is meant by ‘winning friends?’ (Proverbs 11:30)

Recently, I was given a glimpse into the life of a man that depicted these very qualities. Among other things, he was a faithful husband and a loving father & grandfather. But there was something else…..something more central to the ‘who’ in my friend, Barry. You see, Barry had a passion that drove him every day. It’s really quite simple, yet most of us struggle with it more than not. Barry genuinely cared about others, and he had no problem sharing the Good News of Jesus with others. To my knowledge, Barry hadn’t been through seminary or studied under Billy Graham. He had, however, an incredibly obedient heart. Matthew 28:19 was simple to Barry…it was an obedience issue, and he obeyed daily. My friend hated complicating things. I think this is why most believers find it problematic to share Christ…we over-analyze it to the point of making us inadequate. His memorial service brought a packed house, from family & close friends to a delivery guy. Barry’s physical being may be no longer with us, but his impact on those he had contact with will last for a lifetime.

May you (and I) thirst to touch lives through Jesus like Barry so effortlessly did. May we leave our soulprint in the soil of humanity.

The ‘Buzz’ of His Presence

The other day I experienced a very random, yet somewhat insignificant, event in a parking lot. I was walking from my car to work, simply minding my own business, when out of nowhere….WHACK! Something hit me square in the nose. I quickly turned and noticed a freakishly large bumble bee was regaining his composure mid-flight. I think we were both caught off guard.

This oddity in my day got me to thinking about my relationship with God. If I’m regularly communing with Him in prayer and spending time in the Word, I shouldn’t be ‘stunned’ when God clearly shows up throughout my day. When I witness the evidence of His presence and involvement around me, it shouldn’t surprise me like a bumble bee flying into my face. It should be expected.

Psalm 139: 7-12 tells us that we cannot hide or escape His spirit. He fills the heavens and the earth (Jer. 23:23-24). What I was reminded of that day is that Jesus is always with me (Matt. 28:18-20). Whether I notice Him or not…..He’s right there in front of my face!

How will you notice God in the busy activities of your day? May you recognize Him in all that surrounds you…..even if He uses a bumble bee.

When your life compass changes

As I alluded to earlier this year, I endured a change of occupation in April of 2010. Let’s correct that statement…..it was more like an occupational halt. For the first time in about 24 years I found myself unemployed. Initially, I welcomed the change with open arms. I was more than ready. It wasn’t long, however, before boredom, spiritual stagnation, and loss of identity began to settle in on me. You see, I was no longer a ‘vocational’ pastor. I was not needed for counseling, teaching the Word on Sundays, or offering leadership help to ministry teams in the church. I was in a pretty serious identity crisis.

The time recently came for me to get a part-time job. We could use the extra income and I thought this would help with my situation. Can I tell you……it didn’t! Even working at a Christian bookstore didn’t (initially) give me a sense of belonging and purpose. It was the combination of hearing other men at a marriage retreat and beginning to read Jim George’s book, A Man After God’s Own Heart, that I really began to understand a handful of basic truths. Here’s my list:

· God has called me to a life of pastoral ministry…but it may not always be serving on staff at a church.

· God has gifted me with the responsibility to be a husband and father…before ministry.

· God is calling me to Himself. More than the two items above, God desires for me to crave time with Him.

Well, that’s my story…what’s yours? Are you secure and confident in your current role in this life, or have you found yourself at a fork in the road? Whichever it is, let me assure you that He deeply desires the best of life for you. I leave you with this verse. May God complete you…that His will might be completed.

And I am certain that God, who began the good work within you, will continue his work until it is finally finished on the day when Christ Jesus returns.

Philippians 1:6

Drink God

I had a moment just the other day…one that made me stop and think. You know the moments I’m talking about? When you’re driving down the road with the windows down and a certain smell catches your attention, reminding you of a pleasant childhood memory. Or perhaps you are sitting in the food court at the mall, and as you observe people around you…something triggers a place and time when things were happier or calmer for you. For me, there is a familiar smell in the air that reminds me of the first day of school as a child. The conditions need to be just right in order to cause me to encounter this warm recollection of my past. It must be sunny, early in the day, a certain range of temperature & humidity, and occurring in early autumn. Whatever it is, I think that many of us have similar experiences now and then.

As I began thinking about this a bit more, it reminded me of very pleasant times in my Christian walk…times when Jesus felt closer than normal. Don’t get me wrong, I have a solid relationship with my Savior. There have been times, however, that He has been so present and active in my life that there wasn’t a single second that passed without literally feeling Him next to me. Can you relate? Have you experienced similar moments?

The bigger question is this...are you currently in one of those sweet, secure places with Jesus? If not, do you want to be? My encouragement for you this week is that same as it is for myself. May you crave God’s presence & love in your life in such a way that it becomes all that you think about. He is longing for this too.

A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek; I want to drink God, deep draughts of God. I'm thirsty for God-alive. I wonder, "Will I ever make it— arrive and drink in God's presence?"
Psalm 42:1 (Msg)

Jesus…more than a box of chocolates!

I make every attempt to get as much done in a day as I can. I try to schedule tasks, according to priority, on my calendar so that they are pretty evenly spread out through the week. If I’m not careful, however, I can place so many things in a particular day that nothing spontaneous can happen. That’s not always a good thing. It’s kind of like a balloon. There’s a limit on how much air you can physically fit in there. When the maximum volume is reached, one of two things must happen. You can tie the balloon off, or continue to force air into it…causing it to pop! The same is true of our capacity to love.

1 John 2:15 reads…

“Do not love this world nor the things it offers you, for when you love the world, you do not have the love of the Father in you.”

God did not create us with the capacity to love Him and the things of the world. It’s o.k. to appreciate the blessings and nice things around us, but when we ‘love’ something/someone…they are given a special place of honor and priority in our lives. May Jesus be the love of your life this Valentine’s Day. And may He be honored above the things He has given us!

You have a ‘friend request’ from God

“The easiest kind of relationship for me is with ten thousand people. The hardest is with one.” (Joan Baez)

In our current world of mobile technology and online networking, it is literally possible to have conversations with tens or even hundreds of people a day. Whether its email, cell phone, texting, Facebook, Skype, or Twitter…our connectability with others has become virtually unlimited. In fact, I’m Facebook chatting with a friend as I’m writing this blog. There are some definite drawbacks, however, to take notice of.

With most of this online networking, we lose so much of the voice tone, body language, and sharing of emotions. If there’s a problem in a relationship, we’ve grown to take the ‘easy’ route and simply email our concerns and frustrations to the offending party. If the issue is too uncomfortable to deal with, we then simply ignore emails and texts as if there were a technical problem.

Now let’s turn this around to examine this dynamic between us and God. Do you suppose that many of us tend to treat our relationship with Jesus in the same manner at times? Sure, we may Skype him via video chat when we REALLY need him, but most of the time it might just be a simple prayer text or wall post on Facebook that he might happen to notice. Check out this Bible Tweet…

Romans 5:11 reads:

So now we can rejoice in our wonderful new relationship with God because our Lord Jesus Christ has made us friends of God. (NLT)

Jesus intentionally made us (you and I) friends of God! It doesn’t stop there though. This is not the same reference as the kind of friend you went through school with. Looking deeper into this text, especially at the Greek translation, the issue of atonement comes into play. You see, we are not just BFFs with God the Father, Jesus made us RIGHT with him. He ‘fixed’ our relationship. All God asks of us is to actively enjoy growing close to him!

This week, may you NOT miss out on some personal time with God. Invite him to Starbucks and chat over a hot latte. Ask him to go for a walk with you in the park. Whatever it is, may you discover the joy in that ‘wonderful new relationship’ this week. He’s got his cell phone on….and he’s not screening his calls!

The Road to Healing

Alright, people…its authenticity time! I have a question for you. Have you ever had something from the past sneak up on you and take a huge bite out of your butt? I mean something like a deep hurt, personal failure, or regret. OK, I lied…there are two questions. This one is even more unsuspecting. Have you ever experienced the future seemingly appearing out from nowhere right in your path…..causing you to trip and fall flat on your face? Until recently, I’ve not looked at it from this perspective before. At least until recently when I noticed a quote on Twitter that caught me off guard. Here it is…

“Many of us crucify ourselves between two thieves: regret for the PAST & fear of the FUTURE.” Charles Fulton Oursler

Past:

On a very personal level, the period of 02/2009 to 04/2010 was a very dark period of my life. I lost a mentor & friend to ministry burnout. I watched our church fall apart & lose its focus on Christ. Our Leadership Board began to lose trust in the remaining pastors. My family and others experienced a very ugly side of church. All of this led to my depression and anxiety, and greatly neglecting my wife and kids…even during the few times that I was home. To sum it up, I worked in a church but it felt like a war zone. This is not what God has in mind for His church.

Future:

Last April, God led our family on our third move across the country. This time from Washington State to Georgia. For the first time in our marriage, He called my wife to a full-time ministry position. The obvious blessing in this is that I am finally enjoying some much needed ‘down-time’ to recover and spend time with my family. The Spirit of God is active and moving more amazing than I have ever witnessed in a church before. It’s been a Holy change of scenery in the landscape of ministry for us. This has also been a life change…one that has caused me to deal with some pretty substantial identity issues. In addition, Jesus continues to call me to one challenge after another. With each new opportunity to serve come old anxieties from past dysfunction and hurt. My mind screams, “NO…not again!” But my spirit gently nudges me forward, and whispers “Trust me.”

When I read the above quote on Twitter the other day, it was like someone woke me up from a horrible nightmare. I have allowed myself to be ‘pinned-up’ between past experiences and tremendous fear of moving forward. I am currently reading ‘A Gentle Thunder’ by Max Lucado. Let me share a short excerpt with you from the opening of that book:

“How far do you want God to go in getting your attention? If God has to choose between your eternal safety and your earthly comfort, which do you hope He chooses?”

All of that is to say this. God cares more deeply about our calling than our comfort…about our faithful obedience than our fears. It’s taken me nearly ten months to figure this out. I’ve been allowing my past experiences in dysfunctional church junk and cowardly hesitance of ministering in the future to render me utterly useless to Jesus. THAT is embarrassing!

So humble yourselves under the mighty power of God, and at the right time he will lift you up in honor. Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you. 1Peter 5:6-7

The message is simple. The step is monumental. ”Don’t worry.......be used!”

2011 – Trash or Treasure?

Well, there you have it. Another year just came and went. ‘It’s history’…..you might say. But is it really? There are so many people, myself included, who have taken a New Year’s Eve to reflect on the past 12 months and asked themselves, “Was any of it meaningful?” I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to have to figure that one out. I don’t want 12 months of living to be tossed out with the trash 364 days from today and have zero relevant and lasting effects for the future. So how does that work?

I have to be honest…I have never been one to make New Year’s resolutions. To me, they have simply stood for entertaining wastes of energy on commitments that will only last a month or two. I know……that’s really pessimistic, huh? But as I took a good, hard look back on my 2010 I realized two important things.

1) There’s A LOT of stuff from last year I will be happy to bury.

- and -

2) Upon closer examination, I have more to celebrate from 2010 than was obvious.

Here’s my resolution for 2011…..I want to reverse this! At the end of 2011, I want all that I have to celebrate to be ‘A LOT’ and for it to be obvious. I also want there to be very little to bury, and that it would require much effort & examination to even recall it. Now, if you’re like me…there needs to be a well-thought-out plan. My personal plan intentionally focuses on three dimensions of health.

Body – I resolve to exercise at least 5 times a week, and eat healthier.

Mind – I resolve to read six books in 2011. (I’m dyslexic, and this is 3x what I normally read)

Spirit – I resolve to stay current with my Bible reading plan on YouVersion, and spend more intentional quiet time in the Lord’s presence.

Lastly, all 3 items above share a similar requirement....TIME MANAGEMENT! My prayer is that managing these, plus planning more meaningful time with my wife & kids, will lead to a personal 2011 to treasure…..not to leave in the trash! Make your 2011 plan today.